The indifferent chill of east coast survival continues to keep my senses reeling whether I like it or not. More depth, more meaning, and a change in aesthetics were my focal points throughout the year. The whole concept of intellectual and moral outrage continues to bore me beyond belief so I wanted to immerse myself in subculture and destinations that live and breathe off the beaten path. After 2 long years of living with a west coast hangover, I had to pull myself out of the acid bath known as “starting over”. My new life in Pennsylvania had been depressing and kicked off with deflating and near fatal experiences. I’m approaching my mid 40s now so I’m sure this kind of shit typically comes with the territory. I decided to revisit all the untidy endings and waiting places of my abbreviated past. My life seems to revolve in a steady stream of relocations and tumultuous revisions. I don’t have a problem with it. I don’t like to sit still but I get annoyed at my lack of patience as well.
The selected road trips I took over the past year felt like impulsive drunken drives through the crowded attic of someone else's mind. Old highways and forgotten side streets littered the rusty landscapes and foggy memories. Memorable reunions were only an annoying reminder of how much time had slipped away while I was sleepwalking. The loud sounds of vital music and dim lights of seedy city life were nothing new but took on a whole new meaning when I actually paused for a minute to accept the unnerving ambiguity of it all. Contradictions and instability give life necessary meaning and detail. Nothing should ever be clear, concise, or perfect. As I slithered my way through the perceived fucked upness of my former years I realized it was perfect just the way it was.
I like to look back at the end of the year and acknowledge the sights and sounds that made the time unique. Punk rock and horror movies are two of my favorite pastimes. I find myself gravitating towards more new cinema than music. It was a brutally uninspired year for new music but a few gems still appeared. Modern horror offered up a few nice surprises as well. Art is unpredictable and so is life. I have a feeling that 2019 will have some truly inspired insanity to offer. Here is my personal top ten for 2018.
10. Future Girls – Bowing Out
9. Summer of 84
8. Surbort - Let's be in Love
7. The Strangers: Prey at Night
6. The Blankz - Sissy Glue
5. Hell House LLC II
4. honeychain - Happy House
3. A Quiet Place
2. Amyl and the Sniffers - Cup of Destiny
1. Hereditary
